MuvaofMuseUpdated: Jun 1, 2020
So I'm committing to this blogging thing. Not really for others but if it resonates then cool, but it is mainly just a place for me to really voice what's going on in my little world (my mind lol). I do a muse motivation post on my Instagram @phenom.sdk as often as I can (I'm pushing for it to be a weekly occurrence but the way my anxiety is set up it just doesn't pan out that way always lol) So if you read the first blog I wrote, you kind have an idea of what Phenom Muse means. If you didn't read it click here and go read that before moving further.
Any who, so I'm really big on living with purpose and intention. I do my best daily to align myself with what I feel is best for not only myself but the world. I feel its important to continuously work towards raising my vibration as well as anyone I come in contact with (if I feel my energy will be received). Growing up I was a social loner with a bunch of "friends" I have been the "mom friend" for as long as I can remember. So I've always been the go to guy when one of their lives got crazy. This trait of mine has been a blessing and a curse since I've always found it easy to be strong for others while negating the fact that I was never really strong for myself UNLESS I was fighting. I fought a lot growing up and looking back it was mainly because I was defending someone else or because someone didn't like my friend which meant they didn't like me somehow. All of this kind of created a negative persona for the people around me to attach to my name. Back then my efforts was to create my own peace by fighting off those who wanted to destroy my peace... I know I know how does that make sense? It doesn't, but by the time I realized that, I was well into high school and had about 10 years of probation under my belt. (I started my reign of terror early but that's another story for another day)
So we're still talking about intentions right? lol so after all those years of running around wreaking havoc on any and everything I got pregnant, had a kid and realized that I had to set an example for her. That meant at 17 years old I have to make a choice and I couldn't be the old me anymore. So daily I worked on myself despite ppl treating me like I was the Shanyse I wanted to leave behind. I kept to myself ALOT but when I was social, I would always slip back into my old ways of not being mindful of what I did and said. I knew I had to fight in a different way I just didn't necessarily know how to. So I removed myself from anything and everything that would possibly bring the old me to the forefront. Doing so caused a whole different set of issues but these were internal battles. Figuring out why I was the way I was and how not to be that way anymore, being ok with people not accepting that I wanted to change and finding people who thought like me without feeling weird.
So for me living intentionally really started back in 2015 little by little I made changes to the things that were holding me back. I would think something mean then tell myself to take it back bc even though it wasn't spoken, a thought can become a thing quickly and I didn't want to harbor that kind of energy. I started to pay attention to what I ate more because honestly I loveeeeeed meat but I noticed it didn't quite make me feel good. Thus I became a pescatarian. A diet change is probably thee absolute hardest thing to change but I felt if I can master my appetite, I can master anything. ( despite my size I have an extremely high metabolism so I could eat all day if someone let me) Shortly after that I decided to work out. I HATE IT! But I felt the difference in energy compared to when I ate meat and would try to workout. It takes major discipline but if I can do it I believe anyone can.
So honestly truly being intentional is a matter of finding a goal, creating a game plan or routine or mindset and dedicating yourself to that. Whether you're dedicating yourself to bettering yourself or even just changing an aspect of your life you have to be disciplined and ready. We are human we fall short daily but I feel if you put a little intention and effort into your daily doings you will see magnificent changes! Ignore the people who want to remind you of the old you, Take one day at a time and Do Nothing Without Intention! You will find that the highest version of yourself resides at the finish line. Until next time Stay Motivated Muses 😘🧚🏾♀️✨